Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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