break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
