we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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