oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize