I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
