the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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