dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
