Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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