how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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