she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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