nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
