I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
