So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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