On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
