Swine flu. Run for my life!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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