If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
