I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
