i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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