Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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