if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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