The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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