Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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