There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
