Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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