Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
