I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
