I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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