When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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