He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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