just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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