ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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