yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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