What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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