8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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