at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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