Whod you bang
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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