she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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