the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
