I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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