are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
