She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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