It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
