She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
