is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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