It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
