I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
