i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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