bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
