I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
