That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
