She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
