But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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