At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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