She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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