Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
