sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
