lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
