Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
