No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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