I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize