Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
